I had a chat with my dad through YM, I was complaining how pricey are all airfares on June-July period, it can cost $1500 return from Melbourne to Indonesia....
My dad said that if I really want to go home, I just need to pay the price.
Oh well, I know he wanted to see me and he also wanted me to focus on my study instead of worrying about this kind of stuff.....
But I can't just seem to tell him about the problem I'm facing... (nb:refer to previous posts)
I don't know what he'll be saying to me, I prefer explain it to my mom, it's more comforting somehow....
Anyway, I haven't received any reply from the agent.
I wished I can move out next week actually, I know everyone will be surprised, but who cares? LOL.
Maybe it's better to move out after the exam though, haha~
Let's just wait and see, I'll decide this friday, that's the time limit!
Tomorrow I'm going to see airline agents to check the price of tickets, then going to the agent to check if they'll have a room available soon. After that, I'll be going to campus to do a group assignment, it's due Thursday!!!!! >__<
Wish me luck tomorrow! I'm going to bed soon~ ^^
I'm an extremist. I'll be either extra silent or extra loud, very calm or hyper-active, gentle or rude, all depends on my mood!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Full day classes? Failed... =__=
Meh, I got up late....
I set my alarm at 8am, hoping that I'll be ready by 9am for 10am class.....
But I ended up getting up just before 9am, now that will be impossible to catch up the 10am class....
So I decided to attend the 11am class onward.
Oh....
btw......
A and B are having a test today, I was hoping A the best, but my heart just can't stop jinxing B to fail, not just this test, but his whole subjects.
Well, that's me, but don't be surprised if the jinx worked, as it mostly worked to most people that I unconsciously jinxed before.
Now I'm expecting an email from the agent, hoping that I can move in there in few weeks, or maybe days, it will be great.
And I think I've decided not to apply for PR at Australia anymore. I know I'm still inexperienced, I want to see the world, I want to study in another country for my Masters degree....
But I'll be going to China first to learn Mandarin, lol.
Ok then, better get going, I don't want to be late for my 11am lecture!
I set my alarm at 8am, hoping that I'll be ready by 9am for 10am class.....
But I ended up getting up just before 9am, now that will be impossible to catch up the 10am class....
So I decided to attend the 11am class onward.
Oh....
btw......
A and B are having a test today, I was hoping A the best, but my heart just can't stop jinxing B to fail, not just this test, but his whole subjects.
Well, that's me, but don't be surprised if the jinx worked, as it mostly worked to most people that I unconsciously jinxed before.
Now I'm expecting an email from the agent, hoping that I can move in there in few weeks, or maybe days, it will be great.
And I think I've decided not to apply for PR at Australia anymore. I know I'm still inexperienced, I want to see the world, I want to study in another country for my Masters degree....
But I'll be going to China first to learn Mandarin, lol.
Ok then, better get going, I don't want to be late for my 11am lecture!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Assignmenting in week 13
Oh great, with this kind of mood, I've got no desire to do my assignment at all!!!!!!
Nb: read previous post first
It will be week 13 in an hour, I haven't revised anything and still have this stupid assignment around me! Arrgghhhhhh, I'm so stressed!
And moreover, my 'f**king housemate' that broke the warm atmosphere at home!!!!!
nb: read previous post
And yeah, the textbook is opened, with all the theories required for assignments.....
The data are all here for me to convert them into words of reports.....
But gargh.... really, I'm in no mood to do it, I would prefer sleep!
Moreover, tomorrow I'll be having full day class, and it's week 13, meaning that I would not miss any class!!!!! Hence, classes 10am-12am, then 1pm-5pm, continued by Kendo 6pm-8pm.
I have to attend all! It is commitment to ensure that I have determination and I'll pass all subjects!
Why do I still have assignment in week 13? When I should have just peacefully revise all exam materials? And what's worse, I had 2 assignments! All hard ones! Damn, screw them, really want to ditch them instead, hau........
Right.....
I just received an MSN from a friend~
It calmed me down a bit, haha.....
whenever I'm with her I feel at ease. ^^
Okay, just made a time to meet up with her. XP
But it doesn't change the fact that I'm stressed from assignment and everything, ok?
Nb: read previous post first
It will be week 13 in an hour, I haven't revised anything and still have this stupid assignment around me! Arrgghhhhhh, I'm so stressed!
And moreover, my 'f**king housemate' that broke the warm atmosphere at home!!!!!
nb: read previous post
And yeah, the textbook is opened, with all the theories required for assignments.....
The data are all here for me to convert them into words of reports.....
But gargh.... really, I'm in no mood to do it, I would prefer sleep!
Moreover, tomorrow I'll be having full day class, and it's week 13, meaning that I would not miss any class!!!!! Hence, classes 10am-12am, then 1pm-5pm, continued by Kendo 6pm-8pm.
I have to attend all! It is commitment to ensure that I have determination and I'll pass all subjects!
Why do I still have assignment in week 13? When I should have just peacefully revise all exam materials? And what's worse, I had 2 assignments! All hard ones! Damn, screw them, really want to ditch them instead, hau........
Right.....
I just received an MSN from a friend~
It calmed me down a bit, haha.....
whenever I'm with her I feel at ease. ^^
Okay, just made a time to meet up with her. XP
But it doesn't change the fact that I'm stressed from assignment and everything, ok?
?Friendship?
I don't care anymore if it's being exposed and everyone get to know about this and "that person" become angrier, because I really need to express this somewhere. *desperate
Well, let's start.....
Just say that there is A and B, both are my good friends. One of them is my ex-housemate, and the other is my housemate.
These two got into some kind of dispute.
A accidentally said something wrong, that annoyed B so much.
B has been avoiding A the whole night.
B told me about this matter.
The next day, A has been trying to contact B, A knew that something's wrong and he wanted to say sorry if he did something wrong to B.
As B didn't answer any of call or messages, A decided to contact me, who was on a meeting.
I left the meeting room, and A sounded very sad on the phone.
At first I recall that B didn't want A to know, B just wanted to stay silent, and B wanted me to stay silent too.
But I think it will be unfair, both A and B are best friends.
I decided to leave a hint to A, asking him, "What happened last night?"
Then, I hung up, saying that I'm in the middle of the meeting.
Unexpectedly, B asked me if I told A about that matter. I freaked out, and all my messages sent to B was really going around and around.
B got mad, he messaged me all awful sentences that pierced right through my heart.
I was very depressed, B never did that to anyone, not even to A.
B didn't like it even if I left that kind of hint to A.
I felt very guilty, I rushed back quickly, luckily the meeting place and my home is close by.
I really wanted to clarify everything and apologize to B.
I was really terrified and unsettled, so I called A, explaining the situation.
A didn't believe me at first, as he knew B for so long and it never happened before.
My tears almost flow out that A felt really terrible.
I reached home quite quickly.
I rushed to B's room, knocked his door.
B opened his door slightly and said that he's changing clothes, asking me to wait.
I waited there for several minutes, I knew B was taking his time, not only to change clothes, but arranging his room.
By the time he came out he just passed me, as if I'm not there, not just once, twice, or maybe even more.
I was quite dissapointed that time, I really wanted to apologize sincerely and he pushed me away like that.
That day I went to bed quite early, then in the middle of the night, B came back home with my other housemate. B was complaining about something, I'm pretty sure it was about me and A, and he said really mean, harsh words.
It was really heartbreaking, I didn't even dare to try to approach him to apologize anymore.
The next day, I woke up the earliest among all.
I couldn't imagine my time here, being ignored by a housemate. What's worst, it will be another semester until our rent finished.
I really can't stand it, so I browse the internet, looking for accommodation around city. Yes, I'm planning to move out soon.
It's not only because of this, I've experienced this kind of ignorance in our apartment before.
I really wish for a place where all housemates are like families, so I think that actually we were not meant to be housemates. Luckily, I found one nice place, near the station in the middle of the city, only 5 minutes walk to Melbourne Central Station, very comfy.
I decided to email the agent, it's a student accommodation, so they should be able to help me.
Sharing with stranger will do to me right now, as I won't put my expectations about "housemates' too high. Living there will be close to everywhere around city, so I should be able to catch up with my friends easily.
Then, I went to church for afternoon mass in the city.
I was thinking that I need to consult the father after mass, but he said he was busy.
I don't know anymore, I wanted to talk to someone about this matter.
I called A again, explaining that I wanted to move out. A asked me to reconsider this decision, as he judged that I was too hasty that time.
I took my time to calm myself by wandering around the supermarket, but I can't put myself at ease, I even almost throw out in the counter......
I went back home as soon as I finished groceries shopping.
I found B and my other housemate at home.
He didn't really reply me when I greeted him. I knew it, he's still very mad at me.
And I found out that B has not even talk to A yet.
Both A and me are very dissappointed in B.
I tried to approach B again, trying to apologize again.
But he just didn't want to talk to me, using excuses again, saying that he's studying for a test.
So he think he can't spare a few minutes for me apologizing to him at all?
I became quite furious, and now I really waited the answer from the agent. I really hoped that this agent will say that there's one room available, so I can move there ASAP!
I don't care, at least there's an agreement, I can move out, with a bit of price as sacrifice, but it will be fine with me.
It's gonna be exam soon, I really don't want anything like this to happen, I'd rather dissappear from here as soon as I can.
I wouldn't care about what other people would say about me, I really want to get good marks this year, I can't let this trivial matter disturb my study.
And what's worse, he tweeted about me (even if he didn't tag me), and it's like saying: "I won't forgive you."
OK! FINE! It's even better now, I can move out lightheartedly, without any worries at all!
Oh my god..... I'm really really in the worst mental state this year.
I would like to call my family now, but I don't want to worry them.
The only one I can talk to is my sister, but she can't be contacted yet, I think she's going out or something.....
What's left? This blog! I don't care anymore, hell yeah, read this, and spread it, I wouldn't care less.......
This is the hurdle of friendship, it won't go smooth eternally.
I know that.
This is the test of friendship, once we pass this, we'll be closer.
But I can't see the way to solve this.
Because of one thing....
Remember one thing, I always always tried this, and this rule is not to be broken:
Even if you are angry, mad, full of hatred....
Do not say something over the line....
As it will close the door, shut it tight, locked, never to be opened again.
You know your heart is hurt, but hurting back is just.....
You need to calm down yourself first, holding back not to hurt others.....
Remember your prayer, the prayer that god taught you:
"Our father"
Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
Yes, if you want to be forgiven, forgive others.
This is what my mom told me when I was little.
Wow, I wrote so much.....
I didn't realize that! But I still want to write more....
There's so much emotion that I need to pour somewhere....
But maybe this is it, I'll write again next time, or maybe now, in the next post? haha.....
Well, let's start.....
Just say that there is A and B, both are my good friends. One of them is my ex-housemate, and the other is my housemate.
These two got into some kind of dispute.
A accidentally said something wrong, that annoyed B so much.
B has been avoiding A the whole night.
B told me about this matter.
The next day, A has been trying to contact B, A knew that something's wrong and he wanted to say sorry if he did something wrong to B.
As B didn't answer any of call or messages, A decided to contact me, who was on a meeting.
I left the meeting room, and A sounded very sad on the phone.
At first I recall that B didn't want A to know, B just wanted to stay silent, and B wanted me to stay silent too.
But I think it will be unfair, both A and B are best friends.
I decided to leave a hint to A, asking him, "What happened last night?"
Then, I hung up, saying that I'm in the middle of the meeting.
Unexpectedly, B asked me if I told A about that matter. I freaked out, and all my messages sent to B was really going around and around.
B got mad, he messaged me all awful sentences that pierced right through my heart.
I was very depressed, B never did that to anyone, not even to A.
B didn't like it even if I left that kind of hint to A.
I felt very guilty, I rushed back quickly, luckily the meeting place and my home is close by.
I really wanted to clarify everything and apologize to B.
I was really terrified and unsettled, so I called A, explaining the situation.
A didn't believe me at first, as he knew B for so long and it never happened before.
My tears almost flow out that A felt really terrible.
I reached home quite quickly.
I rushed to B's room, knocked his door.
B opened his door slightly and said that he's changing clothes, asking me to wait.
I waited there for several minutes, I knew B was taking his time, not only to change clothes, but arranging his room.
By the time he came out he just passed me, as if I'm not there, not just once, twice, or maybe even more.
I was quite dissapointed that time, I really wanted to apologize sincerely and he pushed me away like that.
That day I went to bed quite early, then in the middle of the night, B came back home with my other housemate. B was complaining about something, I'm pretty sure it was about me and A, and he said really mean, harsh words.
It was really heartbreaking, I didn't even dare to try to approach him to apologize anymore.
The next day, I woke up the earliest among all.
I couldn't imagine my time here, being ignored by a housemate. What's worst, it will be another semester until our rent finished.
I really can't stand it, so I browse the internet, looking for accommodation around city. Yes, I'm planning to move out soon.
It's not only because of this, I've experienced this kind of ignorance in our apartment before.
I really wish for a place where all housemates are like families, so I think that actually we were not meant to be housemates. Luckily, I found one nice place, near the station in the middle of the city, only 5 minutes walk to Melbourne Central Station, very comfy.
I decided to email the agent, it's a student accommodation, so they should be able to help me.
Sharing with stranger will do to me right now, as I won't put my expectations about "housemates' too high. Living there will be close to everywhere around city, so I should be able to catch up with my friends easily.
Then, I went to church for afternoon mass in the city.
I was thinking that I need to consult the father after mass, but he said he was busy.
I don't know anymore, I wanted to talk to someone about this matter.
I called A again, explaining that I wanted to move out. A asked me to reconsider this decision, as he judged that I was too hasty that time.
I took my time to calm myself by wandering around the supermarket, but I can't put myself at ease, I even almost throw out in the counter......
I went back home as soon as I finished groceries shopping.
I found B and my other housemate at home.
He didn't really reply me when I greeted him. I knew it, he's still very mad at me.
And I found out that B has not even talk to A yet.
Both A and me are very dissappointed in B.
I tried to approach B again, trying to apologize again.
But he just didn't want to talk to me, using excuses again, saying that he's studying for a test.
So he think he can't spare a few minutes for me apologizing to him at all?
I became quite furious, and now I really waited the answer from the agent. I really hoped that this agent will say that there's one room available, so I can move there ASAP!
I don't care, at least there's an agreement, I can move out, with a bit of price as sacrifice, but it will be fine with me.
It's gonna be exam soon, I really don't want anything like this to happen, I'd rather dissappear from here as soon as I can.
I wouldn't care about what other people would say about me, I really want to get good marks this year, I can't let this trivial matter disturb my study.
And what's worse, he tweeted about me (even if he didn't tag me), and it's like saying: "I won't forgive you."
OK! FINE! It's even better now, I can move out lightheartedly, without any worries at all!
Oh my god..... I'm really really in the worst mental state this year.
I would like to call my family now, but I don't want to worry them.
The only one I can talk to is my sister, but she can't be contacted yet, I think she's going out or something.....
What's left? This blog! I don't care anymore, hell yeah, read this, and spread it, I wouldn't care less.......
This is the hurdle of friendship, it won't go smooth eternally.
I know that.
This is the test of friendship, once we pass this, we'll be closer.
But I can't see the way to solve this.
Because of one thing....
Remember one thing, I always always tried this, and this rule is not to be broken:
Even if you are angry, mad, full of hatred....
Do not say something over the line....
As it will close the door, shut it tight, locked, never to be opened again.
You know your heart is hurt, but hurting back is just.....
You need to calm down yourself first, holding back not to hurt others.....
Remember your prayer, the prayer that god taught you:
"Our father"
Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
Yes, if you want to be forgiven, forgive others.
This is what my mom told me when I was little.
Wow, I wrote so much.....
I didn't realize that! But I still want to write more....
There's so much emotion that I need to pour somewhere....
But maybe this is it, I'll write again next time, or maybe now, in the next post? haha.....