It was about the scene, and now it will be about what I feel, and a bit of the past.
I saw this in Facebook just now, something that I gave a thought like 10 minutes before, about apologising.
APOLOGISING
Does not always mean you are wrong and the other person is right.
It just means you value your relationship more than your ego.
But guess what? Every time I'm mad with him he never said a single sorry and just acted normally until I don't know how things turned out and things "seemed" to be normal "somehow".
Well, I think he apologised before of miscommunication, but still, it was only once from God knows how many.
It may be cruel and sinful, but if people made mistakes to me and had not apologised yet, I can't seem to forget it, even when I acted normal.
I was quite offended where he just called me, talked normally, then suddenly wrote how annoyed he is with me via message. I would give him a "Talk to my hand" if I'm really mean.
And how he was so inconsistent in stating "how important a promise is" but it can be swayed easily by mood. Now look who should grow up?
It might be the second time I argued with him this year.
The first one was when he took so long just to answer my question of "Where will we go?"
I was working that time and told him how the weather is so good outside and I am considering to skip my culture lecture if we've got something much more interesting to do.
I got no answer, and just questions of "Decide to skip first, then we'll talk" stuff.
Hell he kept on asking me that question despite me asking things first.
And when I finished working and already decided to go to my lecture and sent message to confirm with my friend, he told me that he wanted to go to the beach.
I snapped of course, complaining about it and clearly wrote in a way that showed that I was annoyed.
Guess what? He acted like an adult and try to give me wisdom, in my point of view. I think that's his way to cover up his mistakes and try to make it cool with a "wow" factor.
But sorry, it won't work on me like that, it just snapped me again.
Sometimes I feel that I am the only one valuing the relationship, which I know it is a mistake.
But at least, I tried to think things through without being taken over by my ego. If I let my ego slipped, it would have been about May or July last year, when we had a big fight, that I decided to cut connection with him.
There were times as well when I though that it might be better to keep a distance with him.
But I thought through it again, and try to picture the good times against all those bad times, how I value these friendship.
Is it only me?
Is it a mistake?
Should I really keep a distance after all?
I don't know. Honestly, it comes in a really bad timing. I still have assignments, I'm still confused with my future, and I'm still struggling with my CV and cover letters.
I know I can't make a good decision without a cool head, I'll just leave it as it is for now.
